So, my 9 year old daughter has recently begun asking those questions that we all know are coming but are somehow never completely prepared for.  She has always been very curious and had asked me all about where babies come from starting at age 5. Back then, I was able to provide her with just the most basic information and facts (no storks) and that seemed to do the trick. When your child starts asking these kinds of questions between the ages of 3 and 6, I recommend a book called, “Amazing You: Getting Smart about Your Private Parts” by Dr. Gail Saltz. This is a great picture book designed for younger children who are becoming sexually aware. Dr. Saltz presents clear, age-appropriate information about reproduction, birth and the differences between girls’ and boys’ bodies.

And now on to the trickier questions. Dr. Saltz’s follow up book is called, “Changing You!: A Guide to Body Changes and Sexuality.” This book is geared towards 9 to 12 year olds and in it, Dr. Saltz addresses the curiosity and confusion that elementary school age children feel as they start to notice the changes that their bodies are undergoing. I have read both of these books with my daughter and she listened carefully and soaked in all the information with very few follow-up questions. I think she had enough food for thought…until now.

As my husband, son, daughter and I were walking to the camp bus the other morning, my daughter just asked out of nowhere, “Mom, when will I start to get sperm?” Before I could even answer this somewhat odd question, my husband fired back with, “Not until your in your mid 30’s, I hope!”  That sarcastic remark went right over her head and I reminded her that boys produce the sperm and girls produce the eggs. She realized her goof right away and clearly knew the difference but it was surely a sign that these issues are on her mind more and more. She has had a lot of questions lately about her body and how it compares developmentally with the other girls at camp and at school. Fortunately, the camp bus pulled up and rescued us. Where is my 10 1/2 year old son in all of this you may ask?  I don’t know if this is typical with other young boys, but my son has rarely come out and asked me the direct questions. My husband and I have read the books with him and he asks, “Okay. Are we done? Can I go?”  I think he secretly appreciates all of his sisters questions because he usually gets the skinny without having to put himself out there and reveal his own curiosity.

I only suggest these books because there is so much information out there and I found that these worked for our family. The most important thing is to arm our children with facts and teach them at an early age that asking questions is important and that we want to be the ones they are coming to with their questions. If we are open and non-judgmental from the get-go and give them the information that they are in search of then they will be more likely to continue coming to us when the questions get weightier and more complicated.

As I see that my daughter’s curiosity is progressing, I am already prepared with my next resource.  Last spring, I was alerted to an Oprah episode (yes, Oprah) with Dr. Laura Berman in which a mother had the talk with her 9 year old daughter while Dr. Berman supervised. I still have the show recorded and I think the time has come to watch it with my daughter. Oprah’s website has not only made the video available to download but she also has a handbook written by Dr. Berman with excellent diagrams that parents can download as well.

Needless to say, I am no expert and as parents, we all need to find our own way through the treacherous territory of our children’s insatiable curiousity. I only hope that these resources may help to get the ball rolling whenever the time comes at your house.