If your child is in elementary school then chances are they were given suggestions for Summer reading from their school.  My son and daughter were each provided with a long list of age appropriate book titles broken down by category, i.e. Adventure, Science Fiction, Biographies etc.. My kids are not the world’s most enthusiastic readers so I found it really helpful that they could take some control and read through the brief descriptions to decide for themselves what 5 or 6 books to read.

Sit down with your kids, or better yet, let them sit down at the computer, and take a look at these age appropriate book titles complete with brief summaries from www.FamilyEducation.com.  Allowing your child to map out her own reading plan might just make all the difference this Summer!

If your children are approaching their “tweens” then for certain they have already been asking you some pretty sticky questions over the last few years. Regardless of the topic, our kids want to know about what we were doing at their age and the more juicy details the better. My kids get such a thrill out of hearing stories from my childhood and my husband’s childhood that involve us doing something naughty or getting in trouble at school or with our parents. Not only do they find it highly entertaining, but it’s also great ammunition to use against us at a later date when they are being scolded for the identical behaviors.

Let’s face it, we all have some stories about our adolescence that we would prefer to keep to ourselves…especially when it comes to sharing with our children.  When our kids do come to us with questions about pre-marital sexual activity or about experimenting with drugs and alcohol, how honest should we be? How can we preach to our children about never taking a sip of alcohol until the age of 21, and yet be truthful about our own experimentation as teens? Is rewriting our own history in the best interest of our children or is there a way to be honest with them and still get a message across?

See what pediatrician, Dr. Perri Klass has to say on the subject and avoid feeling like a deer in the headlights the next time your child hits you up with a tough question.

When it comes to children who exhibit extreme behavioral and social problems, with no diagnosis of mental illness, it is most often perceived to be the fault of bad parenting. Afterall, we have all been taught to believe that every child comes into this world a pure and innocent angel and that only external factors can change that. In other words, it’s usually mom and dad’s fault. In our rational moments, we know that we can’t take the blame for everything that goes wrong with our kids , but we have all observed a child having a horrible tantrum at the mall and there’s always that same immediate reaction…”Obviously that mother or father has no control over their own child. ” Well it turns out that there may be some truth to that theory, but not in the way you think.

According to Psychiatrists at New York’s Weill Cornell Medical College, “The era of ‘there are no bad children, only bad parents’ is gone.” Read on…

Now that school is out, our children should ideally be spending more time outdoors and involved in some sort of physical activity. Whether your kids are at camp or just hanging out at the beach or in the backyard, chances are they are spending less time in front of the TV.

As incoming 5th and 6th graders, my son and daughter were assigned a summer reading list from which they are required to read at least 5 books. They were also given some math review websites on which to spend some time doing summer review. The good news is that, after a long day at camp and some reading time, showering and dinner, there just aren’t that many hours left in the day for TV or video games or even computer time. I find my kids are so much less interested in begging to play on my computer or in emailing  with their friends. Still, it is called summer vacation for a reason and we have to cut them some slack and just let them chill out a bit. More than likely, that chill time will be spent playing video games of one kind or another. While I’m okay with being a bit more lax during the Summer, it is still important to maintain some type of rules and guidelines as far as the videogames go. If the time spent playing gets too out of hand during the summer months, it will be near impossible to reign it in come September.

Parenting.org has come up with some common sense guidelines for parents to follow that will help keep our kids on track while still allowing them some time to enjoy their favorite pastime.

Chances are if you ask other adults if they grew up having a best friend throughout the different stages of their childhood, the answer will be, “Yes.”  Fortunately, even for children who may not be jocks or cheerleaders or run with the popular crowd (whatever that is) it usually works out that most kids wind up finding a buddy that is just right for them. After all, as kids, isn’t it super important to have a best pal, someone who will stick by you no matter what and stand by you through the worst of any teasing or bullying? It really has never occurred to me that there could be any downside to having a best friend, but leave it to the “experts” because they have found one.

In this world of inclusion and political correctness, it seems that many educators and psychologists feel that it is better for children and teenagers to socialize in larger groups and to consider a broader group of children as their closest friends rather than to have one best buddy. While I can see the benefits for all of us, children and adults, to broadening our social horizons, my own childhood experience would have made this difficult. Having been an extremely overweight child and teen, I struggled to feel secure and comfortable around my classmates. I was always waiting to be excluded, or teased, or chosen last for a team. For me, knowing that I had a best girlfriend was a definite source of security and confidence. I agree that it is important for children to learn that they must treat all of their classmates with kindness and respect and never make another child feel excluded. However, I have also urged my own children to nurture and treasure their closest friendships because by doing so, they will learn how to develop other healthy and positive relationships throughout their lives. And let’s face it, as children and as adults, you just aren’t going to like everyone in your class or on your team or even in your office in the same way. Our instincts and our likes and dislikes will always draw us towards some peers and pull us away from others. Is attempting to micro-manage this dynamic even a realistic possibility?

Hilary Stout’s article thoughtfully explores both sides of this issue and the perspectives are eye-opening!

Along with the tasty outdoor barbecues and the breezy days spent at the beach summer also brings some crazy laundry challenges.When my children return home from day camp each afternoon I am horrified by the daunting laundry challenges with which they present me. Their clothes are invariably covered with some, if not all, of the following stains: grass, mud, paint, markers, ketchup, melted Popsicles and of course some blood here and there. So far, red wine hasn’t been an issue but I’ll keep you posted.

I consider myself somewhat of a laundry fanatic. At home during the school year, I have some help with the laundry, but come summer I’m on my own. I like to pre-treat each item of clothing before it goes into the hamper so I can get  a jump on treating the stain. Tackling tough stains and keeping summer whites white is not for the faint of heart so here are some product reviews that should set you on the right path. Just remember, summer vacation just isn’t any fun for  our kids if they aren’t free to roll around in the dirt and let their popsicles drip where they may so, as my son says, “Chillax!” and let the stains fall where they may.

My 11 year old son is obsessed with baseball. In addition to knowing all the stats and all the players, he plays on a little league travel team which, especially this past year, consumed a big part of his life…and ours. The boys practice into the night at least 2 times during the week, year round and play double header games every Sunday. The games are often a 2 hour drive each way and the playing lasts for at least 4 1/2 hours straight with, at most, a 10 minute break in between games. My son is actually a very good player and while I don’t for one second believe that he will ever play professionally, his coaches have told me and my husband that he could go far in the sport with the proper coaching and commitment. This coming season, my son is being encouraged to join a more elite travel team which would involve more weekly practices, more games and more tournament play, including trips outside the U.S.  My son will be in the 6th grade come September and the workload will be intense as it is a big transition year academically. How much can an 11 year old handle and how many balls can he keep in the air without incident and without emotional and physical stress? There is a part of me that wants to insist that he stay in his existing league and not try and advance to the more advanced league. But what kind of a message does that send? Afterall, if your child has a talent and a passion for something, shouldn’t you support and encourage that passion?

The truth is, I am thrilled that my son is passionate about something other than video games and that he would choose playing ball in the park over watching TV any day. The question  is, when is enough, enough? Increasingly, young boys, and sometimes girls, are becoming more and more competitive when it comes to athletics. It’s no longer just a breezy fall Sunday afternoon ballgame in the park…it’s do or die and our kids are more and more sustaining significant physical injuries in an effort just to keep up.

Mark Hyman’s new book, “Until It Hurts: America’s Obsession with Youth Sports and How It Harms Our Kids” chronicles the toll that youth team sports may be taking on our kids and on the family unit in general. Take a peek and see if you see anybody you know.

My brother and sister in law had their first child almost 2 months ago and from the minute she was born, even before they brought her home from the hospital, the advice and the tips from friends and family were coming fast and furious. My sister in law had already read several books on nursing and sleep habits but, at least in my case, when that baby arrived, I was like a deer caught in the headlights. Your mind turns to mush and you feel as though you are a useless and hopeless excuse for a mother. It seems so picture perfect when other women give birth and bring their angelic, swaddled angels home from the hospital, but when it’s you, things just never feel quite so smooth.

The only advice that I was prepared to give to my sister in law  (and I say, “prepared” because I have yet to be asked for any) was to take a deep breath and just give into the chaos and the panic and it will all fall into place. It takes longer for some than others but eventually, all first time moms get their groove on. I was reminded of all of these old feelings from my own experience by a recent article which addresses 10 controversial parenting issues with feedback from 4 top childhood experts. Topics such as whether to spank as a form of discipline and whether or not to vaccinate your child are among the subjects and it’s comforting to note that there is support for all sides of most of these issues. Take a look and see where you stand and remember that there is no such thing as a perfect parent.

I recently came across this list in Parents Magazine of 8 Resolutions Every Mom Should Make.  I am assuming that this list was ideally intended for moms of babies and of very young children, aiming to get moms off on the right foot. Even though my children are a bit older, I figured I would take a look and see how I fared.  First off, I would have to say that as cynical as I sometimes tend to be, I thought that these were really valuable resolutions well worth striving towards. Unfortunately, as I read through the list, it turns out that I have only mastered 3 out of 8… 3 1/2  on a good day. I’ll leave you guessing as to which ones.

Take a look and see how you’re doing, and fear not, as moms, we are always a work in progress, learning as we go. If I can master all 8 before my kids leave for college, I’ll consider myself successful.

Shortly after the beginning of this school year, my just-turned-11 year old son came home from school with a can of Axe body spray. He didn’t actually show me the can, it was only that evening after he showered when I inquired about an unfamiliar smell that he showed me the goods. He explained that a classmate whose mom worked in the fragrance business had brought some Axe products to school and shared them. My son had only started using deodorant the year before and had chosen to go with a mildly scented version of Old Spice since that is what his dad uses. So here we are a year later and I am being asked to go to the store in the morning to purchase Axe deodorant. When I explained that that wasn’t happening and that what he has been using is appropriate for his age, I got the old, “But Mom, everyone at school uses this stuff.” To which I replied, “Then it must smell like a perfume boutique in your locker room.”

I just didn’t get it. I was aware of these ultra-scented male body sprays and gels and deodorants but I assumed that young boys of my son’s age would be horrified at the thought of “male perfumes” and would run the other way. I explained to my son that I thought it was inappropriate at his age to smell like anything other than good old fashioned soap and water and shampoo. In fact, I told him that when I began dating as an adult, the most appealing and masculine scents were Dial soap and Right Guard or Old Spice. I don’t wear any perfume or body spray myself so I certainly didn’t want my 11 year old son perfuming our home. I am all for my kids expressing their own identity, but certain things will just have to wait. Fortunately, that was pretty much the end of that conversation.

So imagine my surprise when I came across this New York Times article addressing  just this issue. I had no idea that young boys all across the country were turning to spray cans to build self-confidence, fit in and attract girls. I’m not quite clear why some of the parents in this article don’t restrict the use of these products for their young sons since they seem to complain about needing to roll the car windows down on the way to school, but, to each his own. I am not naive and I realize that once my son has money of his own and is hitting the neighborhood pharmacy solo, all bets are off.  But for now, soap and water is where it’s at!